Rich People's Who Ever Live

It’s pretty hard to figure out who are the richest people who ever lived because you have to compare wealth across different currencies and time periods. And so, I let other people do that for me and just took their word for it. Here are nine of the richest people who have ever lived, in order of poorest (relatively) to richest.

Genghis Khan

Genghis Khan was the Warren Buffett of the 12th century. He had stacks on stacks of money (acres and acres of land, really) but still lived in a simple yurt. Still Jenny from the Block, you know? He kept it real. Genghis was known for his generosity, and also his ruthless invasions. Human beings are complicated.

Bill Gates

Bill Gates is the richest person in the world with $78.9 billion, and is $8 billion richer then the second-richest person on Earth, Zara cofounder Amancio Ortega. How the hell is the cofounder of Zara the second richest person on earth?

Alan Rufus

Alan Rufus, also known as Alan the Red, was the nephew of William the Conqueror. In the 11th century, Rufus had the equivalent of $194 billion. Why was he so rich? Honestly, I can’t figure it out and English history is SO boring and I really didn’t want to keep reading about him.


John D. Rockefeller

19th century oil tycoon John D. Rockefeller had the equivalent of $341 billion. Coming from lower-middle class roots, Rockefeller used his ruthless business skills and sassy mustache to build the biggest oil company in the world. He retired in 1897 but lived until 1937, meaning he had 40 years to roll around in his billions of dollars.


Andrew Carnegie

Steel magnate Andrew Carnegie lived from 1835 to 1919 and was the richest American to ever grace God’s green Earth with the modern equivalent of $372 billion. Suck it, Bill Gates. Seriously Bill Gates, you should be embarrassed. Andrew Carnegie would eat your $78.9 billion for breakfast, sh*t it out, and eat it again. Carnegie believed the wealthy had a responsibility to society and he donated $78.6 billion of his money to charity, leading a wave of philanthropy by urging the wealthy to use their money to better society. And now we have Wolf of Wall Street motherf*ckers who think their very existence is a gift to America. Andrew Carnegie is rolling in his golden, glittery grave.

Akbar I

Akbar I lived from 1542 to 1605 in India and controlled an empire that commanded 25 percent of the world’s GDP. Damn, dude! Good on ya! Get that paper! During his reign, Akbar tripled the size of the Mughal Empire in size and wealth, commanded a strong military, and still maintained good relations with his subjects. Not a bad time to be a Mughal.


Emperor Shenzong

Emperor Shenzong of the Song Dynasty lived from 1048 until 1085 and ruled an empire that controlled 20 to 30 percent of the global GDP. They were rich as f*ck because they were really good at collecting taxes and were hundreds of years ahead of European empires in technological advances. Suck it, white people!


Augustus Caesar

Augustus Caesar, who lived from 63 BC to 14 AD, was straight up ridiculous. In charge of an empire that accounted for 25 to 30 percent of the world economic output, Caesar personally owned about 1/5 of his empire’s economy. In modern money, that comes out to $4.6 trillion. TRILL. ION. He also personally owned all of Egypt for a bit. Really puts Johnny Depp’s private island to shame.


Musa I of Mali

Musa I of Mali, the king of Timbuktu, was BY FAR the richest bitch of all time. Mali was the largest producer of gold in the world and the 14th century was ALL about gold. We don’t even know any way to explain just how much money he had. It was crazy. It’s hard to quantify his exact wealth because we don’t have dollar amounts big enough to explain just how rich he was. We don’t even have numbers that big. Musa was so much richer than anybody had ever been in all of human history that historians of the time.