First dates are tough.You want to leave a good impression. But you don’t want to come on too strong.
It’s the fine balance between telling your date how much you love your Mom…
But not telling your date you love your Mom so much that when she died you left her body propped up in bed and you kiss the corpse goodnight before bed.
You know what I mean? It’s a razor thin line.
With that said, the #1 thing you should NOT do on a date is go ten pin bowling.
The last time I went bowling was with my ex-girlfriend and her daughter and it was horrible. First of all, if I win I look like King Dickhead for crushing them. If I lose I look like Crown Prince Dickhead for losing to them.
Also her Mum said I was lazy because I didn’t wash up the dishes once so that was annoying too.
I’m getting distracted here. What I’m saying is that I wasn’t comfortable on this date. So I couldn’t be my full self…
First of all, no one looks sexy in giant, borrowed clown shoes. I don’t care how much game you have, when you put on a pair of borrowed bowling shoes that 400 other people wore before you, you don’t increase your odds of getting in your date’s bed.
Secondly, ten pin bowling is really hard.
You think it’ll be strike after strike. But it’s gutterball city - and you’re the mayor.
I mean, you could ask to put the bumpers on and when your date asks why you tell her you had a son who loved bowling but he died in a terrible ten-pin bowling accident so you put the bumpers on in his memory…
Again, no one finds that sexy.
Actually, if someone DOES find that sexy, that’s probably a good sign it’s time to get the cheque and go your separate ways.
Thirdly, bowling costs like $11 dollars.
And unless you’re MADE of money, that’s going to be out of budget.
So that’s THREE good reasons to avoid the lanes.
In all seriousness though, this analogy does carry an important message - go somewhere comfortable on a first date. That really is as simple as it gets.
Don’t go to a fancy restaurant if you’re a bar and grill person. Don’t go to a club if you hate dancing. Don’t go to live music if you’re a live sports fan.
People complicate dating with endless tips and hacks and shortcuts.
Really, it’s quite simple.
You’re a human. Your date is a human (good lord I hope so anyway).
Go somewhere you feel comfortable, somewhere you can be yourself.
And see if you two humans like each other.
Dating doesn’t get simpler than that
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