THE SILENT PAINS OF A HUSBAND
Everybody is hung up on domestic abuse by men against women. Nobody spares a moment to find solutions to the equally devasting verbal abuse men suffer in the hands of their wives. It is worse because men can't discuss what their wives do for them fear of scorn and derision. They suffer in silence. Timebomb.
Unfortunately, the Nigerian society has little or no support systems for this kind of situation. Little or no counselling services. It's been mostly left to church with deal. What happens when the man doesnt go to church? What happens when the woman doesnt believe in spiritual intervention? These women are raising daughters. Their daughters are hearing and looking how they speak to and treat their husband. What kind of wives will they grow up to become? Those that treat their husbands as kings or those who believe they are nothing but verbal punching bags?
We've all agreed and rightfully so that a man has no business hitting his wife. So how then do you stop a wife raining verbal mistakes at you? Leave the house? Okay. But you'll return and it will continue. What next? Leave again? ? how long?
Recently, I visited a senior friend, an important man in the society and while we were downstairs gisting, the voice of his wife could be heard upstairs. She was playing unimaginable bile against the man. She called him all sorts of unable names. Impotent, wretched fool, miserable man that was nothing when she married him, etc. This is a well respected man. A father of 4 children. She tore at his very core and mocked everything society respected him for. She said she'd soon crash and she'll be there to laugh at him.
I was so uncomfortable as I beheld the man. He was shriken before me. He was defeated. He tried to gamefully continue the gist to disturb me but it was not working. The woman's vitriol was a ceaseless torrent. Uncomfortable silence assured. I used myself and left his house.
I was really sad.
You want to know the truth? This is what most men go through their houses. They labour and oil and build respect but when they return home, the one who ought to speak to the king in them tears them to shreds and tries to deflate their self-esteem. When they are outside, they try to act cheerful and happy but back home, they are shriveled because the person they live with makes it a point of duty to verbally assault them.
A sad story comes to mind. There was recently a Nigerian Ambassador who was called because his wife released a story to press that he beat her. She also released pictures showing fresh injuries on her body ostensibly inflicted by the man.
In a dramatic twist, their children came out to debunk the stories and said their mother faked the injuries to embarrass their dad. Grow up children.
A particular sentence by the 1st son saddened me. He said it was as if their mum woke up every morning with a mission in life: how to make their dad miserable. They said they
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